PlinthiPaul blog

I haven’t got around to writing about my time on the plinth for so many days, I’m at risk of forgetting how it all happened! This first post covers everything that happened on Plinth Day until just before noon.

I didn’t sleep too well the night before, and awoke early, excited, nervous and disbelieving in equal measure that the big day was here at last.

I tried on my plinth suit with some trepidation but found it did still fit, four years on from having it made for my wedding – four years in which I’ve gained a bit of weight, but fortunately not quite enough to stop me dressing in the manner indicated in the PlinthiPaul logo. Mind at ease, I was able to shower and dress in my rather less sweat-inducing normal clothes.

A breakfast – including some toast from the loaf I’d bought for experimental purposes – followed, then I checked the suitcase and other bags’ contents a final time (well, final apart from on the pavement near our house when I had a panic I’d forgotten some audio wires) and off we walked to the station, speaker, air quality monitor, bags and case in hand.

On the train, I went through my folder of experiments and used it to write up a running order, illustrated with a map of the plinth, to indicate where I would be standing for each thing, in the hope this would help the camera operators keep up with what I fully expected to be a frenetic hour’s plinthing. I also included a specific request that at the end of my hour, after singing ‘Happy birthday’ as pliché no. 9, I would like a full-length body shot of myself from the lower plinth camera, to ensure my final, visual, pliché joke worked properly.

The train-ride was soon over and we were walking to Trafalgar Square, not to watch the plinth as so often in the past but instead to go straight to the One & Other Welcome Centre and prepare to go on the plinth myself.

I was greeted by the security woman I’d met at the base of the plinth when giving out leaflets a week earlier. We recognised each other and I reassured her she had every chance of getting some sweets thrown to her when I was on the plinth. After the 10am changeover was complete (she was escorting the JCB through the square), she checked through my case for dangerous items and then we were allowed into the Welcome Centre.

I took out my folder of experiments again here and talked Abi, the event manager, through everything I planned to do. She seemed a little nervous of what I might have lined up, or possibly just concerned for me that it might all be a bit rubbish, but I was glad to see her face light up (as plinthers mustn’t) more and more as I explained what I had planned. She seemed quite happy with how it would all go, and with my preparations, contingencies and so forth.

The only disappointment at this point was that, contrary to what I’d been promised on Twitter, I was told that plinthers were not allowed upstairs under any circumstances, even if they’d been invited up beforehand on Twitter. I’d been really looking forward to that as I’m a total tech geek who’d’ve loved to see how it all worked, and I’d arrived over half an hour earlier than asked partly with that in mind, so that was a big let-down, particularly as it was just a flat ‘no’ without even checking with the people upstairs.

I’m getting into ‘all a blur’ territory about now, with just 90 minutes or so to go until I was on the plinth. There were lots of forms to sign, and I met the plinther who was on before me, Hannah, who seemed very nice. It was when she was about to leave to get in the JCB and we said we’d next see each other 8m up at the changeover that I realised just how close I was getting to the plinth: it was then I decided to dash across the square to use the 24-hour public toilet which has saved O&O needing to install their own!

My giraffe had arrived by then, too: my parents had driven up with my grandparents, one of whom has a disabled badge which allowed them to park right near the plinth – he wouldn’t have been able to walk there otherwise. They’d brought the giraffe with them and it went down very well with all in the O&O office. One of them stood it just inside the entrance door to greet anyone opening it – I’d done this to my parents at their house the night before so it was quite amusing to get a taste of my own medicine on returning from the toilet!

One of the O&O staff suddenly became very keen to go through my suitcase again, despite the security woman already having done this. It transpired he was more interested in helping me stop things blow away, however. I’d mainly got this covered already with my bricks and sticky tape, but he was able to lend me a stage weight, which did hold the music stand down even better, and some gaffer tape, which may or may not have been any stronger than my own but did have a lot more left on the roll!

After this I was rushed into the side room for my pre-plinthing interview. This was conducted by a staff member who came across as a naturally good listener. I got a taste of what it must be like to be interviewed in the Big Brother Diary Room – the silences when you finish answering a question, in the hope that you’ll open up further and more honestly to fill the gap. I dread to think how bad the interview came out in places, as I rambled on and jumped around between questions in the way my mind was leaping around like a startled frog, but you, I and everyone else will be able to find out in the long run, as all the interviews will be released under a Creative Commons licence by the Wellcome Trust.

Unfortunately, much as the interviewer was a naturally good listener, it seems I’m a naturally good talker, especially if nervous, so I ended up being interviewed for so long that there was no time to take my photo before I went up! Instead, I was left in the room to get changed into my plinthing outfit, and when I came out there were only a couple of minutes left until I needed to take to the JCB.

I checked I had my coins to toss in my suit pocket, and my phone in my jacket, while Edith booted up the laptop and I connected it to my speaker and donned my Skype headset, so that my audio would be up and running as soon as I got up there – I had no time to spare. I gave it a quick test – “HELLO!” – then zipped up my suitcase and headed out of the Welcome Centre, where my giraffe awaited me in the JCB. This would be it, then…

To be continued…

• Watch my full hour on the plinth here

Hi! Sorry I haven’t posted since I appeared on the plinth. I’m not sure quite where to start with writing about it, but I do intend to do so before too long.

In the mean time, here are a couple of video links you may be interested in visiting:

1. Watch my full hour on the plinth on the One & Other web site – self-explanatory.

2. Watch a short interview with me, by Ben Werdmuller, conducted about two-and-a-half hours after I left the plinth, and edited together with footage Ben filmed while I was up on the plinth itself.

I’ll also be in next Wednesday’s Bexley News Shopper, but I think that’s about the extent of my follow-ups then.

Do drop by here again soon for some sort of write-up, once I work out what on earth to say about it!

Quite why it didn’t dawn on me yesterday, I don’t know. But this evening at about 7pm it suddenly struck me that all the frustration I’d felt in my run-through yesterday with trying to handle the microphone while simultaneously doing experiments could actually be resolved relatively easily, with a ‘Madonna mic’. Or, in readily accessible consumer electronics terms, a Skype headset.

To cut a long story short, I’m now going to have to take the laptop up again, because it seems Skype mics need some pre-amplification before they go into the speaker I’m using, and our little netbook is the smallest, most portable way I can think of to achieve this. I won’t be taking it online, though!

Tonight I’ve also buttered all my toast and packed it in between layers of kitchen paper, to avoid the buttery sides messing with the non-buttery sides, and unpacked and repacked the plinthing suitcase in experiment order, checking I had every last item as I went.

There can’t be many suitcases in the world which currently contain both eggs and bricks. I can’t foresee any potential problems with that mix, either.

I’ve also run off the last of the bits and pieces of printing – a ‘FREE BOOKS’ sign (in the giveaway sense, not the Nelson Mandela circa 1984 sense), some thanks/credits, that sort of thing.

I’ve put the air quality monitoring device on charge, and just need to make sure my phone, laptop and camera are similarly packed with potential energy and then I’m off to bed (although I shall peep at the day’s schedule at midnight to see myself listed at noon before I finally drop off!).

Goodnight, readers: see you – or, at least, be seen by you – from the plinth tomorrow!

P.S. My local paper published this today, 15 days after I e-mailed them about it.

It’s been a really busy weekend, designing, printing (that new A3 printer’s come in handy) and making things to take up onto the plinth for use in the various experiments I’m now just about ready to carry out on Tuesday.

Having done a lot of preparation, this afternoon I was finally ready for a run-through. I pretended 16.15 today was 12.00 on Tuesday, wheeled my heavy suitcase (well, it does have four bricks in it) into the plinth-sized area of my garden and got things started.

Several things became clear over the following hour:

• It’s really quite hard to do experiments and hold a microphone. Apologies in advance to people in Trafalgar Square on Tuesday – I’m probably going to have to put my mic down from time to time and hope you can hear me when I shout!

• I can’t possibly do everything I’d hoped to do in just one hour. The only ‘20-minute sink-in’ I suffered was the sinking in of the fact that I was nowhere near a third through what I had to get done!

• Unpacking and setting up all my stuff is one of the most time-consuming and frustrating aspects of the whole thing. I thought I’d prepared things to make this as quick as possible but even then it took up a lot of valuable time.

For this reason I actually abandoned (even before this rehearsal) one of the few things I was originally set on from the start – taking up an internet-connected laptop and going on Twitter etc. from the plinth. I just don’t have the time.

I’ve also – since the rehearsal – decided to drop the few bits of music I had intended to play at opportune moments. I’d already scaled this back from playing on the laptop to playing on an MP3 player using a pre-configured playlist, but even this wastes valuable time I just can’t spare when I’m up there, so it had to go.

Also out (I “threw it out the window”, as Alec would sing) is the experiment that started it all, the ultra-scientific cat swinging experiment. I did include this during my rehearsal today, and can confirm mittfh’s prediction that one can indeed swing a cat on the plinth is correct. But I’ve since consulted with a wildlife expert (she told me to say that) and been advised against doing this on animal safety grounds… Well, actually, I’ve just dropped it to save time because the outcome was entirely predictable and I do actually have so many experiments whose outcomes aren’t that it seems silly to spend time demonstrating that.

Apart from that, and a few experiments which I will inevitably end up dropping when I run out of time, I’ll essentially be carrying out just about all the experiments which had received four or more votes by the time voting closed yesterday afternoon. So if you see any you like the sound of there, make sure you tune in on Tuesday!

It’s all getting a bit nerve-wracking now but I’m at work for one day tomorrow so will have to put all this to the back of my mind for now.

I’m seriously considering a second run-through after work tomorrow but it’s difficult: on Tuesday I can be as haphazard as I like when I come to chucking everything back in the suitcase at the end, but for now I have to handle it all with care so it’s still in good condition for the real thing! Perhaps I’ll just leave it at the one run-through and hope I remember to do all the things I wished I’d done today on the day without further practice. *gulp*

I’ll put a final post on here before the big day tomorrow night – if I have time! Otherwise, I’ll be back here afterwards to write about the experience. I’d love to hear from you all in the comments about how you think it goes, too! And don’t forget to pledge to watch, on the right-hand side of my profile – thanks!

It’s all starting to feel a bit more real and a bit more scarily imminent now – I’ve just done the final closure of voting, having closed the site to new submissions this morning.

Thanks to everyone who’s submitted an experiment and everyone who’s taken the time and trouble to vote, comment and predict experiment outcomes. The site may not quite have had the biggest user base (though we’re up to nearly 40 now I think), but it’s all about the quality and between you all you’ve helped me make for what I’m hoping will be a really good hour on the plinth.

Assuming, that is, I can actually get all the stuff prepared for all these great experiments! Lots to organise, make, practise and test so I’d better stop blogging and get on with it! I’ll keep you posted on my progress, though, of course…

After work today I headed to Hobbycraft and wandered the aisles looking for anything I thought might be useful for the more popular experiments people have been suggesting.

I came away only having just broken into double figures-worth of craft products, but along with the PlinthiPaul.co.uk domain, some bits I’d already got, some bits I still need to get, six packets of batteries and travel up to London, it’s looking like PlinthiPaul’s budget will ultimately end up passing £50.

Compared with many other plinthers, though, that will be a small sum, I’m sure. Many others have had to tackle things like costume hire, PA system hire, balloon/bubble purchase – and for a likely majority of plinthers, long-distance travel and accommodation costs.

[Hah, just as I was typing this post, a new e-mail notification popped up from Visit London: “Stay in London from only £29 a night”. Who knew advertisers had keystroke loggers installed on bloggers’ PCs?]

So – and I say this in no small part to see if my blog can attract its first ever actual comment! – what do you reckon is the average amount spent by a plinther as a result of their invitation to appear on One & Other? Please let me know in the comments below (there’s no need to register to comment on the blog, by the way).

Once we arrive at a figure (which I’m sure will be really accurate…), we can multiply it up by 2,400 and see just how much of an economic stimulus this project has been. Could One & Other beat the ‘Cash for Clunkers’ car replacement scheme as a way to lift us out of recession?

Meanwhile, in other audience participation news: if you’re interested in the PlinthiPaul project and intend to watch my hour at some point, please could you go and pledge to watch me on my One & Other profile page (on the right-hand side)? It’d be very exciting to know I was actually going to have some viewers. Thanks!

Yesterday a very kind man by the name of Jon Fox came over to my financial systems office from his air quality monitoring office several miles away, to bring me a freshly calibrated, newly battery-replaced, bright yellow and impressively configured device by the name of “DustMate environmental dust detector”:

I particularly love the way he set it up to say ‘4TH PLINTH’ when it’s starting up!

This lovely bit of kit measures the mass of PM10s (particulate matter – or, basically, dust!) per cubic metre of air. In any 24-hour period, EU legislation requires there to be an average of no more than 50µg/m³ in the air, otherwise the level is too high. I’m also informed that 40µg/m³ is a pretty good rule of thumb for a comfortable level, as opposed to being ‘just within the rules’.

I’ve already had a bit of fun experimenting with it. The air in my office was a nice and low 11µg/m³ – until I held the DustMate above a colleague’s several-year-old chair and gave the seat a good slap, whereupon the reading leapt to around 6,500µg/m³! The air in my bus home this evening varied between 16 and 33µg/m³ – must take it out in my car at some point to see which is the healthier way to travel! Finally I wandered around my living room, which for the most part was healthy but in some of the more computery (dust-magnet!) parts of the air it got well into three figures, especially under my desk where two computers were puffing out their hot air. Note to self: remember not to lie under the desk breathing in deeply for hours at a time.

Anyway, as you may have realised, all this is in preparation for me doing the ‘Air quality’ experiment suggested by ebase. It currently has a respectable five votes but I hope people continue to click ‘Like’ on it so I can actually justify doing it on its votes

Don’t forget though, it’s still not too late to submit or vote for experiments you want to see me do up there. Who knows what other specialist equipment I might then need to borrow by the weekend?!

It wasn’t all failure tonight: before heading to the Royal Festival Hall, my friend Katie joined my wife and me in Trafalgar Square for a bit of promotion.

We handed out between 30 and 40 small (A7) PlinthiPaul.co.uk flyers to people passing the plinth. It was quite fun actually, trying to spot who was looking up at the plinth in an interested fashion and therefore might be interested in my web site.

By and large we got it right, with very few outright rejections of the flyer and a majority who actually seemed at least a bit interested in what it said. There were also one or two who were excited about the whole thing and wanted to go on it themselves – they were happy to chat for ages!

Mind you, it’s only when you start an exercise like this that you begin truly to appreciate just how many foreign tourists there are in the Square – sadly the leaflet was not generally a big hit with them, their responses varying from bemused inability to understand what I was saying (fair enough, I’d be the same in their countries!) to pointing out that they’d be back home by next week so assuming the leaflet was of no use to them.

One highlight of the flyering was the security woman at the side of the plinth, who took a leaflet and told me she would be on duty protecting me on that day:

I’ll be at the base of the plinth and if anyone says a bad word about you I’ll tell ’em you’re a good’un!

I suggested she should visit my site and submit an experiment which involves me throwing sweets down to the security guard, in that case – hello security woman, if you’re here! She seemed very keen on getting some Haribo, so you never know.

Finally, time was getting on and we were running late for the meet-up, so I wondered whether I could put some of the leftover flyers somewhere in the One & Other welcome centre, for staff and plinthers to see in the next few days. I approached tentatively but was – as befits its name – welcomed in by the staff and sure enough, they were happy to let me leave them on the coffee table in the room.

Not only that, but they also invited me to use their 1700-follower Twitter account to tweet a little plug for my site – thanks One & Other staff for your hospitality… and see you in just over a week’s time!

Finally for tonight, here’s a photo of the meet-up, featuring all three of its attendees: L-R me, Abby (on Skype) and my wife Edith. Fun!

No-one’s made it to the PlinthiPaul event today, apart from former plinther Abby on Skype, so I’m going to head home now I think.

On the plus side, this failure does tenuously give me the opportunity to link to what is my favourite page of the PlinthiPaul web site, which is the page I hope no-one will ever see normally, because it’s what appears if the site’s database goes down. Enjoy: PlinthiFAIL!